You'll know me when the time is right

xxx

xxx

xxx

xxx

i hate the word "Hi."

i'm crazy

i'm silly

i'm a superstalker

who always thinks too much

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it always take me ages to think up a blog post.
and when i do, the probability of me posting it is freaking low.
yet the probability of anyone actually reading this blog wouldn't be anywhere higher.

there's this sudden surge of feeling that came over me after i received those two sms yesterday. i wanted to reply a smiley face. but why do it when i'm still bothered by the first one.

i couldn't explain nor describe what and how i was feeling. given your nature you would have asked me to describe them. and given my nature, i would reply but unable to descibe them to you and would have taken ages.

and yes. i ended up not being able to describe althought you didn't asked. i couldn't even give myself an answer. i had to guess why i was feeling that way. i end up contradicting myself anyway.

this is probably why i am always feeling angry. i am not angry with anyone or anything, but myself. i get angry with myself when i dont know how to feel. and letting go doesn't solve the problem mind you. it seems to be the case for me for everyone im with. yes, every single person around me. it's just that it bothers me since last night and more since 8 hours ago.

i always get this kind of feeling. always. you must be wondering why in the world this idiot is like this. but i can't help it. yet it seems to have gotten better since the past year.

now, i'm starting to think if i should read more into what i am reading.