AnAn is me.

Random

Wednesday, August 31, 2011 9:16 PM

it is one of the things that brings trouble to me.

yet at the same time, it is one of those that creates memories i'll treasure for live.

more often than not, people use this word to describe me.

-天时、地利、人和-
as they say: there is a time for everything
yet sometimes, things happen when you least expect it to.

-do not create a container. instead, let the water flow to where it should go-
often, we try hard to control everything around us. as humans, we do not like things that are beyond our control. indeed, we love to keep things in order - in our own way of defining order. yet, it is those things which are beyond our control which we love to try. to try and take control.

-----

ever since a very long time ago, i've realise that whatever you have against a person, may be what the person have against you.

we may not realise it, not because it is not there. but perhaps simply because we overlooked, or neglected its presence.

-----

indeed, your worse enemy may just perhaps be yourself.

sometimes, something so irrelevant, may become close to the heart because of something, or someone else.

at the end of the day, we don't know what to trust.

do we trust what we: see? hear? or perhaps, read?

if two people each tells you something that contradicts the other, it is still understandable.

now what if someone were to tell you two things that contradict each other directly? it wouldn't be difficult to understand if both were told with an interval.

sometimes it can be puzzling that something somewhat small, and simply, can become so devastating.

-------

oh right, someone told me a few days ago,: basically about loving myself more, not to be so available and always there for the girl you like next time. AND also to change my ways of treating people. or was it girls? or was it the girl i like? i forgot.

seriously, i don't think i could do that. perhaps if we were talking about someone i do not know personally, someone i personally detest, i don't think i would have any difficulty accomplishing it.

but my friends? people i know? you got to drop that idea. although i personally feel, and i do realise, i often tend to 'over' help people. i'm totally not sure if this is a good thing at all. perhaps irritating may fully describe this? i really don't know.

but it's kind of like a involuntary reflex. someone asks and you answer. simple as that. unless, unless it's somebody i totally do not want to help at all. seriously, my bones would moan even at the thought of it. you ask and you get it.

though people often tell me that i would be taken for granted.

truth is, if you do not take me for granted, you're one less person who does. smiley face for you.(:

i met people who worries for me. i thank them for their concerns. perhaps it's times like this you know who cares for you? but then again i asks myself, i have been like this for the past 10 years. does it makes any difference if i change now. and. if i were to change now, wouldn't i not be myself anymore?

and one thing i hate, is not being able to be myself.

-----

this may just be the longest blog post ever written.
if you happen to read this, like all bloggers, i sincerely thank you for trying to understand what's in it.

thing is, my brains changes it's direction of thoughts every 10-20 seconds. i maybe thinking about all these now, yet i maybe thinking of other possiblities by the time you read this. which is why this paragraph was added.

wow. seriously, wow anthony. i dont think i'm even finished. till next time then! ^^